In the beautiful chaos of family life, it's easy to feel pulled in a million directions. The ding of a notification, the never-ending to-do list, the worries of tomorrow – they all vie for our attention, often at the expense of the most precious moments right in front of us. We yearn to be the best parents we can be, to connect deeply with our children, but how often do we find ourselves physically present but mentally miles away ? The truth is, the magic of mindful parenting isn't about perfectly orchestrated playdates or Instagram-worthy crafts. It’s about the profound simplicity of being truly here. Fully engaged, fully aware, fully present. And the secret to unlocking that presence for your child begins with cultivating it for yourself. Why Mindful Presence Matters More Than Ever In a world brimming with digital distractions, our children are increasingly competing for our attention. When we're present, we're not just observing; we're attuning. We notice the subtle shift in their mood, the unspoken question in their eyes, the quiet joy in their play. This deep attunement builds a foundation of trust and security, signaling to our children that they are seen, heard, and valued. Mindful presence helps us: Respond with intention, not reaction: Instead of snapping when a tantrum erupts, presence allows us to pause, breathe, and choose a more compassionate, effective response. Create lasting memories: The small, everyday moments – a shared laugh over a silly drawing, a quiet cuddle before bed – become richer and more vivid when we're truly immersed. Model emotional regulation: When our children see us navigate our own internal landscape with awareness, they learn invaluable lessons about managing their own emotions. Strengthen bonds: Uninterrupted connection fosters a sense of belonging and deepens the parent-child relationship. The Starting Point: Being "Here" for Yourself You can't pour from an empty cup, and you can't be fully present for your child if you're constantly disconnected from your own inner experience. Self-awareness is the foundation of mindful parenting. Here are some practices to help you cultivate presence within yourself: The Mindful Minute: Set an alarm for once or twice a day. When it rings, stop whatever you’re doing. Take three deep breaths, noticing the sensation of air entering and leaving your body. Observe your thoughts without judgment, and gently bring your attention back to your breath. This small practice rewires your brain for presence. Sensory Check-in: Throughout your day, take a few moments to engage your senses. What do you see around you? What sounds do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel? This grounds you in the present moment, pulling you away from future worries or past regrets. Mindful Movement: Whether it's a short walk, stretching, or a yoga session, move your body with intention. Feel your feet on the ground, the stretch in your muscles, the rhythm of your breath. This is not about exercise goals; it's about connecting with your physical self. Digital Detox Moments: Establish screen-free zones and times for yourself. Maybe it's the first 30 minutes after you wake up, or while you're drinking your morning coffee. Use this time to simply be. Bringing Presence to Your Child Interactions Once you've started cultivating your own inner presence, extending it to your child becomes more natural. Special Time: Commit to giving your child 5-10 minutes of uninterrupted, device-free, one-on-one attention each day. Let them choose the activity. Get down on their level. Listen more than you talk. You’ll be amazed at the connection this creates. Put Down the Phone (Literally): When your child is speaking to you, make eye contact and put your phone face down or in another room. Your undivided attention is powerful. Active/Reflective Listening: When your child tells you about their day, listen not just to their words, but to the emotions behind them. Reflect what you hear back to them ("It sounds like you were really excited about that!"). Embrace the Imperfect: You won't be perfectly present all the time, and that's okay! The goal isn't perfection, but consistent effort. When your mind wanders, gently guide it back to the present moment, just as you would in your personal mindfulness practice. Being fully present for your child is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. It fosters their sense of self-worth, deepens your bond, and fills their connection bucket. And remember, this journey starts with the simplest, yet most powerful act: choosing to be fully here for yourself first.

There’s something deeply personal I want to share, something that’s greatly shaped the way I experience motherhood. Exactly one year before becoming pregnant with my first child, my mom passed away unexpectedly. Her death was sudden and traumatic, and the grief I felt was overwhelming. The pain of losing her—and everything she meant to me—still lingers. And it’s something I reflect on often. Since the earliest days without my mom, I couldn’t help but consider how different things would be if she were still here. She would have been so involved in my life as a mom—offering her wisdom, her love, and her joy (and definitely an occasional critique :P). But even though these thoughts still bring some pain, I also recognize that I’ve channeled my grief into something beautiful in my own journey. Yes, there will always be layers of heartbreak. Part of me will forever grieve what my mom is missing out on (and what I am missing out on), knowing that neither of us get to experience this chapter the way we’d imagined. But there has been joy as well. My mom was such a huge part of my life. We talked every day, and together, we often wondered about what this stage of our lives would look like. Where would I live? How many kids would I have? Would they look like me or Matt? If we lived near each other, we guessed that she would be popping over often to help or just hang out. But after her passing, I had to face the reality that she wouldn’t be here to find out what happens next. This made me more aware than ever of how fleeting life is. It also sparked a deep sadness about what my children might experience if I’m not here for them when they need me most. That thought has often triggered anxiety and a new kind of pressure in me—the pressure to "get it right," out of fear that I won’t have enough time with my own kids. I’ve worked through these feelings with my therapist, and what I’ve learned is that while my mom isn’t physically here, her love continues to guide me. I find myself giving my children the same love, warmth, and energy she gave me—while also consciously making changes where I can. I often reflect on our relationship and realize there are things I wish we could’ve talked about—things I wish I could repair or understand better. While she was an amazing mom, I now recognize there were emotions that she carried that I didn’t fully understand until I became a mother myself. Her upbringing was so different from mine. She was one of eight children and only spoke Spanish when she moved here from Puerto Rico as a child. She and her siblings navigated their new world with parents that couldn't fully communicate with teachers and peers. Her early experiences shaped her in ways that I’m only beginning to understand. Despite the challenges she faced, she instilled in me a deep sense of gratitude for family (given or chosen)—something that remains at the heart of how I approach motherhood. One of the most unexpected parts of this journey has been gaining a new perspective on my mom’s love. For years, I couldn’t quite grasp why she did or said certain things. But now, as a mother, I’m seeing the sacrifices she made, the worries she carried, and the depth of love she poured into me—even when I couldn't fully see it at the time. It’s a bittersweet realization, though, because I can’t share this newfound understanding with her. I don’t even know if other women talk about these things with their moms, but I know my mom and I would have, and I think I'll always grieve for that. Oh, to be able to say "Mom, I'm sorry about those teen and young adult years!" and "Thank you for all of it." Reflecting on my relationship with my mom has become an interest of mine. It’s part of what drives my work as a parent coach. But navigating grief while becoming a mother, especially when you can’t share that early part of the journey with the one person who would’ve understood you best, has been an unexpected and strange experience. It’s beautiful and painful at the same time, and I’m still figuring out how to live in that tension. If you’re going through something similar—whether by circumstance or by choice—I want you to know that you’re not alone. It can feel incredibly isolating not having your own mom by your side when you’re stepping into motherhood. But I see you. I understand the weight of this journey, and I know you're doing your best. Motherhood, just like grief, is something we each navigate in unique ways. It’s okay to feel both sadness and joy, to miss what’s gone while embracing what’s here. I know we would want the same for our own children.